Episode 419 – Teaching Board Game Manners

How do you teach kids to play games “nicely”? To respect the rules of the game?

0:00:00 Fact for 419

419 scams (AKA Nigerian prince scams)

Sponsor Message

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0:04:10 What We’ve Been Playing

Scurry Up! *
Verdant Arizona (our review)
Lands of Amazement (our review)
Aspens
S’mores Galore Roast and Write
Cabanga! (our review)
Trio (our review)
Flip 7 (our review)
Person Do Thing (our review)
Adventurous *
Unmatched: Stars and Stripes *
Jekyll vs. Hyde (our review)
Got Five! *

* = First time on the podcast

0:26:20 March Monthly Report

Andrew: 10 plays of 8 games. H-index: 2 (Flip 7, Aspens)

Anitra: 31 plays of 12 games. H-index: 3 (almost every game was played at least 3 times…) Most played: Aspens, Lands of Amazement

Did you check out our March Madness extra reviews?

0:29:00 The Family Gamers Community

We’re so glad you’re here!

0:29:50 #Backtalk

You shared your escape room experiences on Facebook and the #backtalk channel of the Discord.

FOR SCIENCE!

“Tacos in Pasta Shells” recipe, contributed by Discord member Sms137355.

0:44:30 Board Game Manners

How do you teach manners to kids as they’re playing board games? How do you teach them to properly “play games” at all?

Young kids HAVE to be taught to take turns (which extends to a lot more than just board games!) All the games in our list for three year olds are great for teaching this skill.

Young kids also have to be taught the general idea of “following the rules”.

One we forget is a skill: recognizing pieces/cards as markers for information, AKA “proxy permanence”. This is the distinction between “playing pretend” or following rules. You need to leave pieces in place to show your progress or status! You can help by providing a different piece to fidget with.

That leads into a concept of shared ownership. Everyone is responsible for the pieces on the board. And that leads to respecting the components of the game.

“Respecting components” means teaching a certain amount of gentleness:

• Keep cards flat (don’t fold them).
• Don’t jam cards into gaps or bend them.
• Rolling dice without throwing them off the table. Use a dice tray, dice tower, or a cup for rolling if this is really challenging.

Keeping cards (and other information) secret is a skill that is needed, but can be introduced more slowly. This is both a mental and physical skill. If they need help with the physical skill, that’s what card-holders are for!

Being a gracious winner and loser is the most important skill when playing with your peers. Unfortunately, this might be the hardest to teach. But it also helps in other areas of life!

• Encourage empathy. (“How does that make you feel?” “How do you think it makes other people feel?”)
• Prepare mentally before playing. (“This might happen. If it does, what will we do?”)
• Model good behavior and talk it out.
• As the adult, watch out for signs of discontent and/or gloating. Shut it down (or at least redirect) before it gets out of hand!

Remember, gaming should be fun. If no one is having fun, you don’t have to keep going. Stop and try again another day! This respects your time (and other people’s time) more than the game itself.

You know your kids and friends. How you handle this is different if it’s one-on-one with a parent and kid or if it’s a whole group of kids. (If it’s a group of kids, lower your expectations!)

The bigger the group of kids, and the younger the group of kids, the shorter the game needs to be, if anyone is struggling with good board game manners. Under 10 minutes for very young kids.

Rules-lawyering is NOT good board game manners. Remember, games are supposed to be fun. Slight changes to the rules are okay, as long as people can agree! Young children tend to be very black-and-white: either sticklers for the rules, or struggling to understand why rules exist at all. If you have multiple kids and they have different attitudes to the rules, you’ll need to break it up and take turns with who gets to determine how the game is played.

One last tip: stay away from bluffing games with kids under 6ish. They can be great fun with bigger kids, but are confusing for young kids who are still learning to communicate and what it means to tell the truth. If you start too young, it can also lead to poor sportsmanship.

1:04:15 New Backtalk Question

How do you teach (or reinforce) these fundamental board game manners with the people in your life? Any strategies you’d like to share?

We instituted a rule to help motivate our kids be gracious winners: the winner was responsible to clean up the game (with help from an adult).

Tell us on the #backtalk channel on our Discord, or in our Facebook community.

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or join the Family Tabletop Community on Discord! thefamilygamers.com/discord

Or, for the most direct method, email us! andrew@thefamilygamers.com and anitra@thefamilygamers.com.

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Music for The Family Gamers Podcast is provided with permission from You Bred Raptors?

The Family Gamers is sponsored by First Move Financial. Go to FirstMoveFinancial.com/familygamers to learn how the team at First Move Financial can help you pile up the victory points.

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